The secret diary of an ECD
Dear diary,
This month has been painfully slow, what with award season over. I’ve been in the office constantly, which is an absolute nightmare. Add to that, work is slow and I’m contractually obligated to adhere to sheeple hours, which makes my soul hurt; this bird wasn’t meant for the 9-5 cage.
Yesterday, I had no client meetings, which you know I hate. God I love talking. Inspiring the dullards gets me off. Watching their little faces contort as I shoot creative jizz into their grey faces. Instead, I was forced to spend time with some of the creative teams and listen to their ideas. Imagine! Me, having to listen to other people’s ideas! Of course, I did the usual thing of not reading the brief, disregarding most of their work and sprinkling what I didn’t hate with golden nuggets - honestly, the look on their faces! Like I was shitting on their work, when really I was pulling it out of the service station toilet. I injected a super-cool tech idea I just heard about (who knows if it’s actually a thing yet; that’s the beauty `of it) and turned it into a genuine award contender. The little swines should be licking my boots. Seriously, why there hasn’t been a 3D printer put on a drone, I just can’t understand. HELLO PENCIL!
If work doesn’t pick up soon, I’ll be speaking to our MD, Caroline, about sending me off to a Buddhist retreat in Thailand. It’s really an investment that I’m sure will pay dividends when I return enlightened and sell a fuck-off monster idea to Shell.
Before I sign off, I just want to say that I’m jealous of you little diary book, for you get to watch a master unfold into distilled brilliance. Incredible.
Until next time,
Me
Any resemblance to persons living or dead is pure coincidence.
This diary chronicles the emotional dialogue of a giant of industry, known only to us as the ECD. Any views expressed within this diary belong to him/her, and him/her alone. As such we’ve decided to protect their identity so as not to restrict their creative spirit.
This week, our beloved ECD has had enough of meetings and the day to day of work, and is eyeing up a trip to a Buddhist retreat where he is sure a new award winning idea will manifest itself.